Friday, November 12, 2010

Dreams and What Ifs...

I think I have always been a dreamer, but I have never really been the worrier that I am now.  I was quite badly hurt in the accident with my scooter.  My shoulder was smashed  and had to be replaced.  With therapy,I know that it is better than a month ago and a month from now, I will be even better.  My dreams are not far fetched, just kind of not possible the way our finances are at the moment.  I would LOVE to move back to BC but have enough money to come back here now and then.  We do not have the money to make the trip at all.  I have never seen my youngest grandchildren, Sonja and Haven and I missed so much of my older grandchildrens lives.  I cannot bring those years back, but I could get to know them now.  My other dreams are affordable but almost as impossible as the other.  I NEED to lose about 100 lbs. and as I find it hard to walk any distance and find yoga hard on my joints, I cannot see how I ca do it.  I AM hoping to start swimming but again it is about finances.  Bathing suits for heavy women start at about $80.  I need a winter coat more than I need a bathing suit.  Enough complaining!!
What are my what ifs...What if we do not have enough  money to live.  What if one of us gets very ill.  What if I cannot lose this weight.  What if...what if...what if.  I think I will stick to my dreams, they are more calming than my what ifs.  :-)

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