I think I have always been a dreamer, but I have never really been the worrier that I am now. I was quite badly hurt in the accident with my scooter. My shoulder was smashed and had to be replaced. With therapy,I know that it is better than a month ago and a month from now, I will be even better. My dreams are not far fetched, just kind of not possible the way our finances are at the moment. I would LOVE to move back to BC but have enough money to come back here now and then. We do not have the money to make the trip at all. I have never seen my youngest grandchildren, Sonja and Haven and I missed so much of my older grandchildrens lives. I cannot bring those years back, but I could get to know them now. My other dreams are affordable but almost as impossible as the other. I NEED to lose about 100 lbs. and as I find it hard to walk any distance and find yoga hard on my joints, I cannot see how I ca do it. I AM hoping to start swimming but again it is about finances. Bathing suits for heavy women start at about $80. I need a winter coat more than I need a bathing suit. Enough complaining!!
What are my what ifs...What if we do not have enough money to live. What if one of us gets very ill. What if I cannot lose this weight. What if...what if...what if. I think I will stick to my dreams, they are more calming than my what ifs. :-)
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